Just a taste...

I won't over do it. Just a taste, I tell myself. One tiny little sample. I can be satisfied. But then I don't stop there. I keep going. It's so good. I can't stop.

And then I hate myself.

Shame creeps in. Slithers into my soul and eats at my resolve.

There's no hope here. I hate the way I look. I despise the way my body feels. My responsibilities and my entire existence conspire against me to force me into hiding who I am.

I want to be free. But apparently, I don't want it badly enough. I pray and pray. I beg G-d to do it for me.

I think that's the problem. He's given me every tool I need.

My problem is that He's teaching me to not be the victim. Be pro-active and own my life. Make my own destiny regarding my body.

That's where the choice lies.